A suicide note under the ninth volume of Rabindra Rachanabali
Written to his son. Then with a blade in his hand
The Master had entered the bathroom.
In the afternoon, the maid saw the line of blood
From under the door and she screamed out.
This is the first and last letter written to his son:
I have a conviction that a son is as holy as water.
my relation with you is not smooth
Still, let me write this to you
Since the last two years, whatever little I had saved
Is spent up now, for your mother’s treatment.
I was not able to bear the burden of the treatment anymore.
I never ever touched your money in my life; I won’t even in my death.
I taught students all my life, never did anything wrong knowingly.
Last month, a parent came to my school, he was desperate to admit his son.
I refused the first day
I refused the second,
But I couldn’t on the third. In a big envelope
He left with me thirty thousand rupees.
With that money, your mother’s treatment is going on this month.
No hope whether she will ever return home.
If she does, tell her, that I have lost the right to live in this world.
Yours ever, Father.’
When the whole country is cashing on bribes
Then just one suicide note under the Rabindra Rachanabali!
In the hospital under the tree, I was having a chill down my spine.
I went forward to my Master, covered with all white cloth
Towards two lone feet, sticking out from under cover
Those two uncovered feet as it were, was the last feet of India.
Rabindra Rachanabali – Rabindranath Tagore’s collected works
Subodh Sarkar is a Bengali poet, writer and editor, and a reader in English literature at City College, Kolkata. He has written over 20 books of poems, two of translations and one travelogue on America. His poems have been translated into English, French and several Indian languages and published in several journals and anthologies.
Indian Literature and Translations | Read the translations of Jaydeep Sarangi on Indian Review. Jaydeep is also a poet, an academician and a translator.