It happened one day in a bar.
He was celebrating his latest heist.
Gulping his third mug of beer,
and enjoying a sumptuous feast.
Realizing suddenly, that he had to pee
he stumbled towards the bathroom stalls
But was blocked on the way in
by men engaged in a drunken brawl.
So, he rushed out through the backdoor
into the quiet of the night
And found a dark and deserted spot
to relieve himself out of sight.
As he zipped up his pants
he thought he heard some noise.
So, he stood deathly quiet
straining to listen to the voice.
Words floated like whispers
from behind the compound wall
Two men argued back and forth
about a vacant house on twenty-two street.
It seemed like the perfect opportunity
to make quick money, a daring feat.
Our drunken mister perked up his ears
his mind was no longer fogged
Here were his competitors
blissfully planning which house to rob.
He listened with amusement
to the two idiots hatching a plot,
He knew the house in question
for it was at a familiar spot.
He waited till they got into their car
and sped into the darkness
Then quickly jumped into his own car
and tailed them from a distance.
He took a shortcut he knew well
reaching the house before them
then parked out of sight,
rushed around to the back
and crept inside from a window on the right.
The thieves broke in sometime later
saw apparitions, heard ghoulish sounds
They ran for their lives, tripping over each other
frightened out of their wits and the house.
As soon as they left, he let out a breath
silently thanking the stars
He had been fortunate;
the plot he had overhead
was the one to burgle his own house!